Out Of The Shadows Page 2

  Tony’s finger hooked into Jai’s belt and led him off the dance floor, toward the end of the bar. As they passed the bartender, he nodded to them, his gaze lingering on Tony for a long moment. Jai shook his head. The guy checked Tony out every time he saw him but had yet to make a move, even though Jai was pretty sure that Tony would say yes. The thought was brushed away as Tony glanced about quickly before pulling Jai into the cloakroom. Backing them between the coat racks, into the shadows, he pulled Jai against him, closing his mouth over Jai’s. Jai’s hands stroked down his back before settling on his arse and Tony sighed happily. He reached down between them to cup Jai’s erection through the soft leather trousers he wore. Jai pressed into his hand, thinking that he should have worn looser fitting clothes; his trousers were growing uncomfortably tight.

  The sound of footsteps alerted them seconds before a man in the club’s uniform of black and white came in. Both of them froze but he didn’t see them moving across the room and picking something up and leaving. Tony snickered softly as he left, resting his forehead against Jai’s.

  “Think we should get back to the others?”

  “I suppose,” Jai said reluctantly. One hand to the back of Tony’s head, he pulled the man in for another kiss before they went back out into the main club.

  As he walked past the bar he stopped, turning. He could have sworn he recognised the man seated on one of the high stools at the far end. Suddenly, the man turned, his eyes widening in horror as his gaze settled on Jai. Abandoning his drink, he fled.

  “What the…?”

  Tony was also looking toward the bar. “Who’s that?” His eyes widened and he grinned. “Was that the bloke you’ve been chasing? I thought you said he wasn’t into this scene.”

  He’s not, Jai thought, watching Dane disappear out of the door.

  “Tony, I’ll catch up with you in a minute,” he said as he pushed through the crowd to follow. “Don’t mention this to the others, okay?”

  “Dane?”

  Just outside, Jai caught up with Dane, grabbing his arm to stop him from running.

  “Let me go, please,” he begged, his voice trembling.

  Jai shook his head. “Dane, calm down. I just wanted to say hi; I thought I’d recognised you. Listen, Dex is inside with a few friends; you could come and join us if you wanted.”

  “No!” Dane squirmed out of his grip and began to back away. “Oh, God, you can’t tell him you saw me.”

  Dane’s uneasy glance slid to the bouncer on the door and Jai took his arm again, steering him out of hearing range.

  “If that’s what you want, then I never saw you.” Dane nodded. “But whatever is going on, you know you can talk to me, don’t you? Any time, just give me a call.”

  As soon as he released Dane’s arm, the man turned on his heel and walked away; he couldn’t have moved much faster if he had run. Jai watched him leave before going back inside. What the hell had Dane been doing in a gay bar? Well, he could think of a few things, but none of them fit with the straight-laced—emphasis on the straight—image of Dane he had in his head. There was definitely more to it than that; Dane had looked too worried about Dex finding out he was there when Jai mentioned it.

  “What was all that about?” Tony asked as he got back to the bar.

  Jai shrugged his shoulders. “Thought I recognised someone, but I was wrong.”

  * * * *

  The following day, Jai was already at his desk when Dane slipped quietly through the door. Jai attempted to speak to him a couple of times, but Dane carefully avoided him, not even meeting his gaze. Eventually, as they left for the day, Jai cornered him. He waited until everyone else had gone and they were alone in the office.

  “So, are you going to avoid me forever?”

  Dane kept his gaze downcast as he shrugged his shoulders.

  “You’re going to have to talk to me sometime, you know,” Jai told him.

  He could see the worry in Dane’s eyes and it was all he could do not to reach out to him. Whatever Dane was scared of, he wanted to help him. The man was his mate, for goodness’ sake; he wanted to be able to treat him as such.

  “Please, Jai, just leave it.”

  Jai nodded. “Fine. But, as I said last night, if you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

  Jai locked the office and went out to his bike. He had offered Dane a lift home but the man refused, setting off toward the bus stop. Jai watched him leave, knowing that he had to let his mate work out whatever was on his mind by himself. He glanced up at the sky, at the darkening clouds that were gathering, and gunned the engine. It looked as though it was going to rain and he’d like to be safely indoors before that happened. Dane was just climbing onto the bus when he got to the end of the road; he headed for home.

  * * * *

  Two hours after leaving the office, Dane let the man lead him out of the bar. He had been coming into the city since moving here, every so often. The bars varied but the situation was the same, just as it had been back home.

  The man was a stranger, whom he’d only just met, and who now pushed him through the door into the dingy pub bathroom. He wasn’t the type Dane usually went for, and he was wondering whether or not he should cut and run when another man came in, letting the door slam behind him. Usually Dane went with smaller men, ones more similar to him in build, more his equal. Dane felt his panic rising as the man leaned on the door to stop anyone else coming in, but he pushed it away.

  “Drop your jeans,” the first man ordered, and Dane obliged, fumbling with his belt, glancing up at the two of them.

  The two men were big, larger in build than he was, and he stood at just over six feet tall. He could get away from them if he wanted to; he was a wolf, stronger than the average human, and so his chances were good. No matter how much they unnerved him, he had known what he was letting himself in for when he came here. Okay, not the two of them, but he had come here for sex. The man who leaned on the door watched as the one who had picked Dane up stood in front of him. He grabbed Dane, roughly turning him around once his trousers were around his ankles, and slammed him against the filthy sink. He leaned around to stuff a wadded up piece of material as a gag into Dane’s mouth.

  “I like my meat to be quiet,” he said. The man by the door laughed.

  The man spat into his hand and Dane felt fingers wet with saliva press inside him, barely having time to stretch him before the man began forcing his cock in instead. Dane whimpered around the gag, tears forming in his eyes as the man began to fuck him. The man wasn’t particularly big, but he was rough and he hadn’t exactly done a lot of preparation. Dane clutched the side of the sink, his fingers aching as he tried to take some of the tension from his body. When the man came, thrusting forward once, twice more he felt the hot semen filling him. The man pulled out and slapped him on the arse, hard.

  “You’re a good fuck,” he said, “So tight and small.”

  Dane knew he wasn’t especially small in build, but compared to these two he was. He was still trying to get his breath back through the material in his mouth as the second man began to unfasten his trousers.

  “My turn,” he said, drawing his dick out and going behind Dane.

  The other man’s semen, now trickling out of his body, eased the way for the second man, and it was a good thing, too. He was bigger, wider, and it would have hurt. He began to pound into Dane, fucking him as vigorously as the first man had, until he came, too.

  When they were done, the two of them left Dane in the bathroom on his knees by the sink as his legs wouldn’t hold him any longer. He had his trousers around his ankles still, the men’s semen beginning to trail a cool line down his inner thigh. He was ashamed of himself for letting them do this to him and of the fact that he too had come, but at the same time it had fulfilled something inside of him that nothing else could.

  He left the bar about ten minutes later, only then realising that he had missed his last bus home. Checking his wallet, he sighed. He didn’t even have eno
ugh money for a taxi; what he had would get him half way home, but that was it. Dane leaned back against the wall and raked his hair back from his face with one hand. It was raining heavily, the droplets soaking him almost immediately. How much worse could this day get?

  Chapter Three

  It was three o’clock in the morning when Jai heard the knock at the front door. He ignored it to begin with, unwilling to get out of his nice warm bed and up into the cold room. The knock came again and he groaned, dragging himself out from under the covers.

  When Jai opened the door, he just stared at his visitor, half afraid that he would find he’d imagined it if he blinked. Dane stood in the doorway, in the rain, shivering. He was huddled into a leather jacket over a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He was soaked to the skin from the rain, his dark blond hair plastered to his scalp. Although he was only a year away from Jai’s twenty-five years, he looked so much younger at the moment, young and vulnerable. Jai thought he looked as though he was ready to bolt.

  “I think you’d better come in,” he said.

  Dane followed him in, through the hall and back upstairs. Suddenly, he froze. He looked around, as though realising all of a sudden that they were in Jai’s bedroom. His eyes flicked worriedly over Jai’s attire, nothing more than the shorts he had been sleeping in, his torso bare. Dane began to make for the door again, as though to leave.

  “No you don’t.” Jai closed his door. “You’re freezing,” he said, coming to stand by Dane. “What have you been doing?”

  Dane wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I went out and I didn’t have enough money for a taxi. I had to walk and it started raining. You said before that I could talk to you; I couldn’t think where else to go.” He shivered again, the wet leather jacket and t-shirt not keeping him warm at all. “I’m sorry; I should leave.”

  Jai came to him and began to remove his leather jacket. Dane looked uneasy, backing off slightly.

  “Relax,” Jai told him. “We need to get you warm. Trust me.”

  Dane let Jai strip him of his jacket and t-shirt, boots and jeans, and then led him to the bed.

  “Get in,” he said, laying down facing Dane and pulling the covers back over them both. It was warm in here and he was getting cold in just his boxers. Besides, they needed to get Dane warmed up; even a wolf, with their raised body temperature, felt it if he got too cold.

  “Now, are you going to tell me why you were wandering about in the rain in the middle of the night?”

  Dane huddled lower under the covers, still shivering, and this time he didn’t move away as Jai edged closer and put his arms around him, sharing body heat. It wasn’t uncommon for wolves to sleep together, platonically. They found comfort in touch. Right now, however, Jai was feeling anything but platonic. He kept that thought to himself. Dane didn’t say anything, though, just kept his gaze down, away from Jai’s.

  “Dane, come on. Talk to me.”

  Dane shook his head. “I don’t know what to do; I feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

  “I don’t understand what you mean.”

  Jai angled Dane’s face to look into his eyes, seeing the shame and fear there, and gave him a reassuring smile.

  “You want to tell me?”

  Dane took a few shaking breaths before he began to speak. “I went out tonight. To a bar.” He paused, looking at Jai for the first time. “It isn’t the first time, not by a long shot, but something was different. This guy—I shouldn’t have gone with him...”

  Jai frowned. “Are you trying to tell me that you were attacked?”

  “No. I wanted to go with him. I let him pick me up because I wanted to have sex, not necessarily with him, anyone. He had someone else with him and I just let them fuck me.”

  Jai hugged him tightly to his chest.

  “So you went to this place looking for sex?” he asked. “Dane, why would you do that?”

  “I feel so ashamed of myself.”

  “Why, because you let them have sex with you?”

  Dane shook his head. “No, it’s because I enjoyed it. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” He hesitated. “I always went with strangers because I liked being anonymous; it made it easier to go through with it, to tell myself that it was just sex. I think tonight it hit me just how low my life has gotten.”

  “How come you never said anything?” Jai asked. “About this, I mean. I never even guessed that you were gay.”

  “I’m not!”

  Jai’s eyebrow arched. “Dane, what are you so afraid of?”

  “I’m not afraid. Shit, maybe I am a bit,” Dane relented. “You have no idea what it was like back in my old pack, with my family. My dad isn’t the most open-minded person; I can’t let him know. I never could. Since I realised that I liked…” at Jai’s nod, saying that he knew what wasn’t being said, he continued. “I have been terrified that he would find out.”

  “Would he really react so badly? Surely he would just want you to be happy.”

  Dane let out a bitter laugh. “Not a chance. I had a friend who was gay when I was younger and I lost count of the number of comments he made, derogatory ones, about him. He wasn’t discreet about his opinions. I can’t handle him doing that to me.”

  “So you kept it anonymous?”

  At Jai’s prompting, the rest of it spilled out, from his experiences in the bars back home and then coming here, looking to start again. He had wanted to cut himself off from that life, make a fresh start. Unfortunately, he had just dropped himself back into the same pattern of behaviour.

  “Tell me what to do, Jai, please. I want more but I can’t risk people finding out.”

  Jai shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to do; that has to be your decision,” he said. “What I can do is help you. You’ve been around us long enough to know that we’re pretty accommodating, no matter what your preferences. Look at Ret and Andy, or me or Dex for that matter. The guards will accept you no matter what.”

  “No, please, I don’t want them to know. Please, Jai.”

  “Calm down; it’s alright. We’ll keep it between us, just you and me. It doesn’t have to go any further.”

  Dane swallowed hard, nodding, looking relieved.

  Jai nodded. “Look, I think you should get some sleep and you’ll feel better in the morning.”

  “Do you want me to go?”

  “No, I like having you here,” Jai told him, brushing a kiss over his forehead.

  “What are you doing?” Dane looked edgy again.

  Jai smiled. “Relax, I’m not going to ravish you the minute your back is turned,” he joked.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

  “To be honest,” Jai told him, “I am very attracted to you and I would love to have sex with you, but I won’t take advantage of you. Right now I’m offering someone to talk to but that doesn’t mean that, in the future, if you wanted to, I wouldn’t jump at the chance.”

  “Oh.”

  Jai turned over in bed, curling his back along the front of Dane’s body and dragging the other man’s arm over his waist. It gave Dane the upper hand to sleep behind, something which Jai thought he needed right now. He had told the truth about being attracted to him, simply leaving out the part about them being mates. At this point, it seemed that Dane was so confused that he probably hadn’t noticed the bond. In any other circumstances, Jai probably would have made a move on him but he was not going to take advantage of Dane’s vulnerability. That wouldn’t be fair and besides, he wanted his sexual partner to want him as much as he wanted them.

  * * * *

  The following morning, he awoke to find that Dane was already awake. The other man was propped on his elbow, watching him with a tiny smile on his face. Jai pretended to still be asleep, keeping his eyes almost closed, occasionally spying through his lashes. He felt warm fingertips brush over his cheek. A strangely tender move, he thought, as the fingers traced over the tattoo he had on his upper arm, the touch light and careful. He had to open hi
s eyes; he couldn’t pretend much longer. Faking a waking-up groan and stretch, he opened his eyes. Dane’s fingers left him as though they had touched hot metal.

  “I’m sorry,” he said hastily.

  Jai turned over to face him. “I didn’t mind,” he said.

  When he reached out to push back a strand of Dane’s hair from his face, the other man froze, realising the move to be familiar.

  “How long have you been awake?” he asked in a whisper, embarrassed.

  “A few minutes,” Jai admitted, grinning. “I liked what you were doing so I kept still.”

  Dane groaned and buried his face in the pillow, refusing to meet his eyes, until Jai finally, bodily, rolled him over onto his back.

  “I should go,” he said, suddenly getting out of the bed.

  Jai sighed. “The shower is through there,” he said, pointing. “I’ll give you a ride to work if you don’t mind waiting for me to get ready.”

  * * * *

  Jai put a hand on Dane’s arm, making him wait before going into the office. He could see the same nerves that he had displayed last night begin to show.

  “Calm down,” he said. “What you told me last night stays between us, I promised you that.”

  Dane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Something had changed last night in the bar, or maybe when he finally confided in someone, but he just couldn’t do it any more. He couldn’t keep trawling bars for strangers; it just made him feel ill to think that he’d done it in the past. Now, what had previously been a simple act made him feel dirty inside. Talking to Jai had made him realise that he wanted something real, not just a quick fuck from strangers in alleys and bathrooms.

  “Thanks,” he said. “For last night, I mean. I never meant to drop all my problems at your feet.”

  “I didn’t mind; I’m glad you trusted me enough to talk to me.” Jai smiled. “If you want to come over for a chat and a beer after work, I’d be happy to listen.”